Mer ATC-humor

[Helge Bø]

Fikk dette i en epost fra en kompis i USA som selv er atc, virker som at humoren er i orden i dette miljøet også...

 

Conversations that passengers normally don't hear.

The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers:

 

While taxiing at LaGuardia the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right onto

Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C's and D's, but get it right!"

Continuing her tirade to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God, you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to!

You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you!

You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally the ground control frequency went terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state.

Tension in every cockpit at LGA was running high. Then an unknown pilot broke the silence and asked,

"Wasn't I married to you once?"

 

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long rollout after landing with his approach speed a little high.

San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end of the runway, if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe

exit off Highway 101 and make a right at the trafficlight to return to the airport.

 

Unknown aircraft: "I'm f...ing bored!"

Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"

Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

 

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7"

Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."

Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern?"

Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern and we've already notified our caterers."

 

O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, eastbound."!

United 239: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got that Fokker in sight!"

 

A Northwest 747 flight engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:

Lufthansa (in German): Ground, what is our start clearance time?"

Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak English."

Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"

Unknown voice (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

 

Oh well...

[Tomas Foosnæs]

Hehehe, den siste var litt morsom

[Jo-Arne Kristoffersen]

quote:

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Opprinnelig postet av Tomas Foosnæs:

Hehehe, den siste var litt morsom

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Alle var bra, men den siste var best!

[Karl R Pettersen]

Alltid hyggelig med litt godtepose. "F...... stupid" og "married" var best - basta!

[Fredrik Edvardsen]

bra saker Helge!!

[Gjest]

Knallbra

[TOS]

Utrulg artig lesing det der ja.. lo så tårene trilla.... kan tenka meg reaksjonen på "Wasn't I married to you once" og "...bloody war"

[Anders Presterud]

Ta en titt på denne tråden på PPRuNe. Den ble påbegynt i juli i år, består nå av 14 forumsider med ATC-jokes! Jeg har fulgt med på tråden siden starten, er nokså mange gullkorn der

 

[ 15.12.2002, 00:17: Endret av: Anders Presterud ]