Humor i lufta..

[Harry Borch]

Fant denne hos http://flightweb.bravepages.com/flightclub/ sin side:

 

Tower: "...and for your information, you were slightly to the left of the centerline on that approach."

Speedbird: "That's correct; and, my First Officer was slightly to the right"

 

noen flere???

[Jo-Arne Kristoffersen]

LOL!!! Den var god!

[Thomas Vatne]

Hva med denne?

 

This is a rather classic conversation overheard on the radio at an airport just prior to a very short landing in a high performance aircraft. The location and the pilot involved shall remain unnamed to protect the guilty! :-)

 

Tower: "xxxx, clear to land"

 

XXXX: "roger"

 

Tower: "xxxx, I can not see any landing gear. Is your gear down?"

 

XXXX: "Say again, I can't hear you because there a some darn horn blaring in my ear!"

 

Tower: "Your landing gear is NOT DOWN"

 

XXXX: "Say what, I can't understand you"

 

Tower: "Your landing gear is ..... aw [sensurert]."

 

Eller denne:

 

Supposedly Heard On The Air (said with a slow, Eton type accent)...

 

BOAC: Heathrow Centre, British Airways Speedbird Flight 723

 

HC: British Airways Speedbird Flight 723, Heathrow Centre, go ahead

 

BOAC: Heathrow Centre, British Airways Speedbird Flight 723 has a message for you

 

HC: British Airways Speedbird Flight 723, Heathrow Centre is ready to copy message

 

BOAC: Heathrow Centre, British Airways Speedbird Flight 723, message is as follows: Mayday, Mayday, Mayday ....

 

Eller denne:

 

How to make people feel at ease...

 

A friend of a friend, who is an airline copilot, told the following stories about a captain with whom he often flew. This guy was an excellent pilot, but not real good at making passengers feel at ease.

 

For example, one time the airplane in front of him blew a tire on landing, scattering chunks of rubber all over the runway. He was asked to hold while the trucks came out and cleaned up. His announcement:

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid there will be a short delay before our arrival. They've closed the airport while they clean up what's left of the last airplane that landed there."

 

Then there was the time they were flying through turbulence. Some of the passengers became alarmed at how much the wings were bending in the rough air and one of the flight attendants relayed that message to the captain. His announcement:

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I've been informed that some of you have noticed our wings bending in the turbulence. In fact, the flight attendant told me that the wing tips are bending as much as ten feet in the bumps. Well, that's perfectly normal; there's nothing to worry about. Our wings are designed to bend as much as thirteen feet at the tips and, as you can see, we're nowhere near that yet."

 

[Gunbjørn Øfsti]

LOL

[Per Magnus Østhus]

Fra http://www.risingwoods.org/HUMOR/herearesomeactualloggedmain.htm

 

 

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known as "squawks," submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

 

P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

 

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

 

P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and propellers lack normal seepage.

 

P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit.

 

P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder.

 

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

 

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

 

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level.

 

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for!

 

P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

 

P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right.

 

P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

 

P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

 

P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

 

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.

[Kristian B.bood]

Hehe, likte best "How to make people feel at ease" og "Cat installed!"

 

 

Kristian B