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Tirsdagshumor


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You might be a redneck pilot if...

 

Your stall horn plays Dixie.

Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.

You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.

You've thought of using moonshine a avgas.

You've used moonshine instead of avgas.

You have Mack mud flaps behind your main wheels.

Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.

You've thought about just taxiing around the airport drinking beer.

You've taxied around the airport drinking beer.

You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman "Yankee".

You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.

You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.

You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.

You refer to flying in formation as "We've got us a convoy".

You have an orange airplane with a UnionJack on the side.

You've got a gun rack hanging on the passenger window.

You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.

Your preflight includes removing all the clover, grass and wheat from the

landing gear.

You siphon gas out of your tractor to put it in your airplane.

You've never really actually landed at an airport, although you've been

flying for years.

You've ground looped a Cub after hitting a cow.

You consider anything above 100 feet AGL as "High Altitude".

There are parts on your airplane labeled "John Deere".

You answer all calls from female controllers with "That's a big ten- four."

There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco

stains on the left.

You have to buzz the strip to chase off all the sheep.

You've landed on the main street of your town for a cup of coffee.

You fly to family reunions to meet girls.

You've won the "Bob Wire" award at a spot landing contest.

The tread pattern on your main gear tires doesn't match.

Your best com radio has 40 channels.

You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.

The floor of your aircraft is covered with hay.

There are grass stains on your propeller tips.

The spittoon is wedged between the rudder pedals.

You think ZULU time means something to do with Africa.

Your airplane has a sticker that says, "I'd rather be flying".

You navigate with your ADF tuned to country music stations.

You think "Ultralite" is a new beer from Budweiser.

Just before impact, you are heard saying "Hey, y'all, watch this!"

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