Groundcrews med humor (engelsk)

Morn.

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---SNIP---

Aircraft pilots submit maintenance complaints /problems, generally known

as squawks, from time to time and after attending to the

squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the

action taken to solve the pilot logged problem.

P - The problem logged by the pilot.

S - The solution and action taken by the engineers

Here are some squawks, recently submitted by

QANTAS pilots and the action taken there after.

Take a look at these and you know why they say 'Never

let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of

humour !!!

P - Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S- Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P - Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.

S - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P - No.2 propeller seeping prop fluid.

S - No.2 propeller seepage normal - Nos. 1, 3 and 4

propellers lack normal seepage.

P - Something loose in cockpit.

S - Something tightened in cockpit.

P - Dead bugs on windshield.

S - Livebugs on backorder.

P - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.

S - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S - Evidence removed.

P - DME volume unbelievably loud.

S - Volume set to more believable level.

P - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S - That's what they are there for!

P - IFF inoperative.

S - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P - Suspected crack in windscreen.

S - Suspect you're right.

P - Number 3 engine missing.

S - Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P - Aircraft handles funny.

S - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right and Be Serious."

P - Target radar hums.

S - Reprogrammed target radar with words

P - Mouse in cockpit.

S - Cat installed.