Litt tull fordi det er søndag

[mwalther]

En liten ting først. Jeg har har bodd i India de siste fem årene...og har reist mye med Indian Airlines (som absolutt ikke er så farlig som det kan høres ut som) - og jeg har besøkt en del cockpiter. En captain i en gammel A300 kunne svare mitt spørsmål om "hvor trygge disse skitne, gamle A300 maskinene var trygge" med "det er ikke farlig før det går galt". En annen kaptein i en A320 kunne fortelle meg at "I just press this button...and the plane flies all by itself". Jaja....kanskje ikke alle skjønner den siste...men det er simplisiten i indere som er så typisk.

Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. System

1.Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices.

2.Hey folks, were going to play a little game of geography trivia. If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and receive an extra pack of peanuts.

3.Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airlines new commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza.

4.Goose! Bogey at 2 o'clock....one on our tail!!!! Eject!!!! Eject!!!!!!!

5.ummmmmm....Sorry......(silence)

6.(As the plane turns around right after takeoff)....uhhhhh....we have to go back....we..we....uhhhhhh....forgot something.....

7.I'm sure everyone’s noticed the loss of an engine, however the reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more efficiently now. (ironic note: this is actually true for prop aircraft!)

8.Fasten your seatbelt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal driving tendencies uses when you get in the car)

9.This is your Captain speaking....these darn planes are a lot different than the ships I'm used to..so you'll have to give me some leeway......

10.It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades and watched the in-flight movie.

11.We've now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and Oh no..

12.Don't worry that one is always on E...

13.Get the parachutes ready...

14.Drinks are on me...or I'll have what the Captain's having...

 

 

[Gjest]

Hmm, det er ihvertfall én ting jeg IKKE vil høre på flyet om noenn av beskjedene du listet opp kom på speakern: "Sorry but we´re out of whisky"!! *glis*

Herlig humor btw!

 

LN-HLL

[Gjest]

Jeg opplevde selv denne etter overshoot på Fornebu bane 06 med en Convair Metropolitan fra SAS: "Aaaah - mine damer og herrer, dette er aah kapteinen aah, vi har dessverre ingen indikasjon på at hjulene våre er nede - aah - så vi flyr en liten tur og -aaaaaah - slår etter i boken!!!!"

------------------

John Andreassen

LN-NRK

 

[Erik H. Bakke]

Eller hva med:

This is your cap'n speaking. We would like to inform you of this

aircraft types incredible safety record.

The chances of crashing is only 1 to 1 million.

And, to further emphasize this point, I can inform you that the

type has already flown 999.999 trips without any accident.

Aaargh.